Happy Heart Day. Suckers.

Every time I see a bookmark with the quote “Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same,” I kinda want to drown a kitten. It isn't that I don't appreciate the sentiment. It obviously applies to everyone, we all have people come and go.

It's the mental image. Because for most of us, we don't have gentle imprints from halcyon days with friends, skipping through meadows and eating chocolate chip cookies. We have trampled hearts; hearts that have taken a beating time and again, and then been left alone to mend. They are calloused and scarred and afraid. I know my heart feels that way. There are certainly friends who have danced lightly and brought happy times. I can't imagine life without these people.

But the combat boots far outweigh the ballet slippers. Mostly because many of my close friends have been guys through the years. So between relationships gone bad, and friendships that burn out in monstrous fights, boy shoes have done some serious damage.

And that trend has continued lately. Not that I've had major blow-out fights with anyone. I've just been disappointed with some people I thought I could count on. So there are some new footprints on the (already) raw spots. Happy valentine's day.

Lest you think I'm too morose, I'm generally happy these days. I love law school, and have amazing friends. Really, truly, fabulous people who remind me that there are good people out there. But at the end of each day, we go home to our little apartments and we lose those connections. It reminds me of that Orson Welles quote,“We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.” And the moments seem to slip away as I try harder to catch them.



Also, my fish died.
That leaves a fin-print on my heart, in case you wondered.