Diary of a Bar Exam

[Disclaimer: This was a truly terrible few days. It is posted solely because Lindsay requested it. Read at your own risk.]


Sunday: 2 days to go. Wash lucky clothes (mighty ducks and final four t-shirts, blue jeans, pink fuzzy socks); eat three well-balanced meals; review the difference between general obligation bonds and revenue bonds in case they test Florida Constitutional law in an essay.


Monday: 1 day to go. Pack. Drive to Tampa. Check into hotel. Breathe into paper bag as needed. Consider standing in traffic to avoid taking test. Watch The
Bachelorette finale.


Tuesday: Day One.

5:30 am: Good morning, this is your wake up call.

6:00 am: Peanut butter on crackers and a diet wild cherry pepsi. Debate the merits of taking a multivitamin versus the risk of nausea from the pill during the exam. Skip the multivitamin.

7:00 am: Leave hotel room.

7:02 am: Arrive at convention center. Get in line for photo id badge.

7:10 am: Receive photo id badge.

7:11 am: Run into close friend from law school. Immediately discuss vacation plans to avoid freaking out.

7:12 am: Get in line for metal detectors.

8:00 am: Get through metal detectors and wait outside exam room.

8:15 am: Enter exam room with 2,999 of my new closest friends. Find my seat, up near the front of the room. Just behind all the pregnant women.

8:30 am: Listen to test instructions while pondering how much worse the Bar would be if I was eight months pregnant like the girl in front of me.

9:00 am: Begin test. The morning portion consists of three essays in three hours.

9:01 am: Consider crying since there's no trust essay.

9:02 am: Begin outlining contracts essay.

10:14 am: Reconsider standing in traffic to avoid taking this test. Family law is that riveting.

11:01 am: Look at the "countdown clock of doom" on the wall and ponder how much can be accomplished in 59 minutes.

11:02 am: Start thinking about lunch options.

11:29 am: Give up on property essay and leave for lunch.

11:36 am: Return to hotel room and find a Ryan Reynolds movie on HBO. Take this as a good sign.

12:50 pm: Get back in line for the metal detectors.

1:00 pm: Re-enter Room of Horrors and find seat...again.

1:30 pm: Begin multiple choice portion of Florida Exam.

3:30 pm: Complete multiple choice portion of Florida Exam.

3:31 pm: Briefly consider reviewing answers for the next hour. Discard idea.

3:35 pm: Back in hotel room. Eat cookie.

6:00 pm: Dinner with friends.

9:37 pm: Fall asleep while waiting for After the Final Rose.


Wednesday: Day Two

6:00 am: Good morning, this is your wake up call.

6:15 am: Custom omelette in hotel lobby. Tomato, spinach, mushrooms, and a sprinkle of cheese. Tasty!

7:40 am: Wander over for the metal detector line.

7:42 am: Find law school friend again and discuss more of upcoming vacation.

8:00 am: Enter Room of Horrors and find seat.

8:30 am: Avoid listening to instructions. Consider dinner order for that evening.

9:00 am: Begin multistate morning exam. 100 multiple choice questions.

9:57 am: Panic about habit evidence rule. Then remember clever post about invariably watching Total Eclipse of the Heart: literal video version. Select correct answer.

11:14 am: Complete multistate morning exam.

11:19 am: Eat sandwich for lunch in hotel room. and a cookie.

12:30 pm: Back in line for metal detectors.

1:00 pm: Back in Room of Horrors.

1:30 pm: Back in focus mode: 100 more questions and then dinner!

3:56 pm: Complete Bar Exam. Sit for a minute and enjoy done-ness. Turn in exam.

4:00 pm: Collapse on bed.

5:00 pm: Commence revelry.